The Official Rules of The Sandwich Punch Game

1. Once a person knows the main rules to sandwich punch they are a player for life. Never punch a persons sandwich unless they are playing.

2. The game begins when one has taken the first bite of the sandwich.

3. Once the said sandwich has been bitten, ripped or cut into, the sandwich is open for punching.

4. Once the sandwich is set down it must be covered with an object. Any object is welcome as long as it is an adament object. Example: you can put a ketchup packet on the sandwich but you can't just put ketchup on top of the sandwich. Sesame seeds don't count, don't be an asshole. Other examples of objects you can use: fries, forks, spoons, knives, salt or pepper packets, napkins, wrappers, A FRIKIN OBJECT OF ANY SORT!

5. In the event that a sandwich has been bitten, ripped, or cut into by the owner and set down without an object being placed upon it, that sandwich is legally punchable. (Note: the sandwich owner must have his hands off of the sandwich as well)

6. Once punchable that sandwich is punchable until an object is placed upon it, or it is picked up/touched by the sandwich owner.

7. The object used to cover the sandwich cannot be touched or manipulated by anyone at any time. Example: if someone bumps your table in an attempt to knock off the fry that's covering your sandwich and the fry falls off, the sandwich cannot be punched because someone manipulated the object. There is an exception to this rule however. SEE BYLAWS; ACTS OF GOD.

8. In the event that a sandwich is unjustly punched the person that wrongly punched the sandwich must buy the vicitim a brand new sandwich.

9. Enjoy! Welcome to the sandwich punch game. You are a player for life and we look forward to punching your sandwich soon! We have included BYLAWS and an F.A.Q. Section for questionable senarios. Don't worry, we've got you covered!


BYLAWS

THE PRE-CUT SANDWICH:

In the event of a person receiving a sandwich that is pre-cut into halves/fourths/etc. the person will usually eat one half first. Only the half that is being eaten is in play. The other half is off limits until a bite is taken out of it. This rule only applies if the sandwich comes pre-cut. If the sandwich owner cuts the sandwich in half his or her self, then both halves must be covered so as not to be punched.

ACTS OF GOD

In the event of an act of God, the object that is covering a persons sandwich is altered by something that is not at the will of any other persons around the sandwich. An example of this is if a random gust of wind blows off a napkin that someone is using to cover the sandwich, that sandwich is fair game to be punched. Another example is if there is an earthquake and it knocks off a fry covering someones sandwich, the sandwich is fair game to be punched. Once again, these are acts of God, which mean that no one in the proximity of the sandwich had anything to do with the manipulation of the covering object.

THE COMPLETE SANDWICH

In order to punch a sandwich it must be a complete sandwich. In the event that someone puts down their sandwich and takes off one of the pieces of bread, it is no longer a complete sandwich. This method of protection is comperable to putting an object on the sandwich. Keep in mind, however, that the bread is what makes the sandwich whole, not the inner contents. So don't think that you don't have a "complete" sandwich just because you took some lettuce out. As long as there are two pieces of bread its game on.


F.A.Q.
What is a sandwich?

The definition of a sandwich is two or more slices of bread with a layer of meat, fish, cheese, etc. between each pair. This definition holds true for the most part when playing the sandwich game but we also know that there are questions as to what is considered a sandwich. Here you go: Naturally a sandwich is usually two pieces of bread but what about subs? Yes, subs are punchable due to the fact that sub is short for submarine SANDWICH. Its safe to say that anything that has sandwich in it is, in fact, a sandwhich. This also goes for ice cream sandwiches. Confused? Don't be, its an ice cream SANDWICH and further more if you're a person that puts down an ice cream sandwich in the middle of eating it, then you're an asshole and deserve to have your delicious ice cream sandwich punched. OREO cookies, and all other cheap imitations of OREO cookies are included as well based on the fact that the package CLEARLY states that it is a SANDWICH cookie. Here's a list of things that are NOT to be punched: Tacos, burritos, pitas, wraps, calzones, etc.

What happens if another sandwich is harmed in the punching of the uncovered sandwich?

From time to time an innocent sandwich is damaged in the devastation of the target sandwich. An example would be if one took a bite of a sandwhich and then set it on top of an untouched sandwich. If the top sandwich was punched fairly but the sandwich underneath was damaged then the puncher owes the victim another sandwich to make up for the damaged sandwich that was unjustly slaughtered. (NOTE: there must be visible damage to the innocent sandwich)

What constitutes a fair punch?

Once a persons sandwich is set down and physical contact is severed from the owner the said sandwich is open for punching until an object is placed upon it. Many a glorious punches have been made while the victim is grabbing a fry to place upon the sandwich. An open sandwich is an open sandwich and will remain open until an object is put on top or the sandwich is completely annihilated. We whole- heartedly encourage the latter.

Can a sandwich be covered with another sandwich?

Yes, smart ass it can, but there are stipulations to this that will be made PERFECTLY clear. In the event that one of your friends thinks he's real funny and covers his sandwich with another all the rules can still apply. If the sandwich is covered with another sandwich, the top sandwich must not have a bite taken out of it. If they covered their half eaten sandwich with another sandwich that has a bite out of it, then the top sandwich is playable and can be removed by another player and set beside it to make two, very punchable sandwiches.

If someone did not cover their sandwich, can we, like, grab their sandwich and do whatever we want with it?

Ok here's how it goes. It's called the sandwich punch game. It's not called the "Let's grab someones sandwich when its not covered and run across the room and then punch it until there's nothing left" game. Technically the said sandwich should stay on the table of the offender and is not open to be picked up, thrown, or ran off with. You punch a sandwich, it's fun, don't be the douche that ruins the game for everyone else.
Who I'd like to meet:

Anyone that has the guts to play!!!

I thought you were going to say:

I learned that the contractors that guard the PX and the DFAC smell...

so if I don't want my sandwich smushed, I need to either never set it down or always put other food on top of it....I didn't even play this game in jr. high.

Now we know the approximate grade level of the troops in the desert.

Lets hope no one tries it with this sandwich.



Later

Fixed.



Love,
Howwie

Ok, first off, howie, Air force are the ones walking around in cammo, with a reflector belt. Explain that one, sir. On top of that, what insane bastard is going to eat that sandwich?! And why would you have that?!

Fixed.

Safety First... I have only worn my uniform like 3-4 times since i've been here and I don't know where my reflector belt is.


I would eat that sandwich.... but it doesn't have bacon... throw bacon on that and you got yourself a good sammich.

I think the real answer is the crazy jarhead marine.

I worked in a machine/engineering shop at the North Chicago VA with a lot of air force/army guys. So a lot of pokes and jokes about air force verse army... but whenever there was mention of the marines... they were just called crazy lol.

I thought this thread was going to contain secrets like:

- How can you shoot women or children? ("Easy! Ya just don't lead 'em so much! Ain't war hell?")
- How many Iraqi's does it take to screw in a lightbulb? (They have electricity?)
- What three words can be used to describe boxers that haven't been washed after being worn 6 straight days in the Iraqi desert?
- How much does an hour with the local sand whores cost, in multiple currencies?

Very disappointed in you, Cnic. I expected more.